The Blow Job Diet

Like so many of us, I am constantly hoping to lose that *last* pesky 5 pounds. I've come up with lots of diets. I give up wine. I give up chocolate. I give up everything for 10 days. But, it never sticks.

Last week I came up with a new one: every time I have a drink OR a dessert-type treat, I have to give my husband a blow job. Now it's not that I don't like giving blow jobs, it's just fine, but I'm usually so tired at the end of day that I just don't want to bother. So I figured this was a great idea... even if I don't lose any weight, the hubby will be VERY happy.

So far it's just working out OK. The first couple of days it was really hot. I'd take a sip of wine or a bite of cake and we'd share a secret smile... but nearly a week later, he's had 3 blow jobs, and I've only had sex once.

By Friday I found myself eyeing the wine bottle and thinking: Gee, if I drink a glass of wine, he'll fall asleep happy, and I'll just be frustrated, because unfortunately, with the kind of days he pulls and the very few minutes of awake time we have with no little kids around -- round two just isn't gonna happen.

I have a feeling that the longer I keep the diet up, the better it will work.

I'll keep you posted. I have to admit, it seemed like a better idea when I first thought of it.